Okay, we ALL have bad days, but are days SO bad that we don’t even want to talk to our loved ones?  And, by “loved ones”, I am referring to our significant  others.  Apparently, my ex felt that way.

Things were good while he was drinking his coffee in the morning, after he woke up….. until he started making some business calls on the phone.  Yea, that can be annoying, even tiresome, because let’s face it, not everybody is the most intelligent person to speak  with on the phone.  And, that can cause us to use every ounce of patience that we have, just not to blow up at these people over the phone.  And, times that by 2 or 3 phone calls that he had to make, and I’m sure one can feel like a volcano that is ready to erupt by the end of the day.  I get that.  We’ve all had days like that.

But, when we have days like that, when we really think things aren’t going our way, aren’t our significant others the ones who we want to talk to?  You know, to calm us down, to get some positive energy from them, our pick-me-ups that we know we can always count on to help us feel better!  Someone intelligent, calm, and ready to shower us with love and tell us those oh-so-good compliments!

Anyway, one would think so, right? Not my ex!  He had a “bad” day, and when he texted me that his day was “bad”, I called him as soon as I left from work.  I was  actually looking forward to hearing about his “bad”, whatever that meant, day, and I was ready to shower him with love: compliments,  active listening, and my full undivided attention while letting him talk about whatever it was that made his day so “bad”.  Wouldn’t everyone want someone like that to talk to????  Well,  apparently he did not.

When I called him, he was distant, and not in the mood for my loving, listening, supportive ways.  He decided too, that he would give me the shortest answers to any questions that     I had, beginning with the question “What’s wrong?”  The more I tried to tell him “I know something is wrong.” , ” I can tell from the sound of your voice.”,  ” Please tell me what’s wrong”, and anything else I could come up with to let him know I seriously DID care, and wanted to know, the more apparent it became to me that he wasn’t going to tell me.  And anyone who is in a relationship knows that this is the recipe for disaster.

The conversation got exhaustive,  and really because of 2 reasons.  The first reason being that the back-and-forth of “What’s wrong Sweetie?”, “Oh, nothing is wrong, Baby” can be totally exhausting, trust me.  It’s like going fishing, hoping to “catch” something, and coming up empty each time.  You want to just throw in the towel, but you don’t, because you hold on to the hope that eventually you’ll get the big bite.  In this case, I was hoping to ge the big bite of information on what was wrong.  The second reason this was so exhausting was because, even though I kept “What’s wrong”-ing him, I kinda knew he wasn’t going to tell me…especially by the time I asked the tenth time.  I should’ve known better.  But, there I was again, hoping for the “big catch” of the day.  Bless those fishermen’s hearts.  I never realized what perseverance those guys have.  I have a           new-found respect for their tenacity and patience that I never had before.

Anyway, back to my story.  So nighttime came, and needless to say, it was a sleepless night for me.  He slept well, he told me later.  Isn’t that nice?  I’m sure glad one of us did!                I wouldn’t want HIM tired the next morning, or him not being able to focus at work.  Wouldn’t want his day screwed up.  I mean, what kind of a woman would I be if I wanted his day to be as screwed up as mine was?  (But, seriously, couldn’t this happen to him just ONCE?)

The next day, when he texted me, and let me say he always says he’s not really into texting, he texted that he was having a good day, and hoped I was having a good a day, as well.  To be honest, by that evening (the second one of not seeing him), I had decided to let go of all of it, and to just go to sleep.  I was doing my very best to think of nice, sweet, positive thoughts…..the kind that would take me to dream in la-la-land.  (Oh, come on, let’s be honest, I was so damned tired from all the worrying and stresses of it all, that I fell hard asleep, and didn’t wake up until my alarm clock went off.)  I woke up the following morning ready to face the world, but not ready to face my ex.  Guess all that dreaming in la-la-land didn’t help much.

So, ladies, what’s the lesson here?  The next time our guy has a “bad” day, leave him alone.  Reassuring him that we love him, and want him to talk to us goes unappreciated.  Because the truth of the matter is, even though they may want US to tell them when something’s wrong, they don’t live with the same expectations of themselves.  They’re not going to tell us.  Begging, crying, yelling, and even scolding them is not going to make them open up to us.  And don’t be ashamed ladies.  All of that begging, crying, yelling, and scolding comes from our hearts, and we know it.  Hell, they know it, too.  This whole problem would be “fixed” if they would just tell us what the hell is wrong when we ask.  Is it really that hard?

No…I’m not bitter!